Do You Know How to Accept a Compliment?

When was the last time you received a compliment? Maybe someone commented on a Facebook picture? Or someone stopped you in a bar because they loved your dress or shoes? Maybe you were praised for a work project or piece of writing? Or possibly a member of your family let you know how happy you make them?

Now think about the way in which you reacted to this compliment, If you're reading this post then it is pretty likely that you did one of the following...

1. Answered with another compliment
Complimenter: "Oh wow, you look amazing!"
You: "So do you!"

2. Changed the subject
Complimenter: "You really made me smile this morning"
You: "Well, I'd had the morning from hell. The cat was sick on the dog and the kids nearly blew the house up"

3. Laughed it off
Complimenter: "You know, you have really beautiful eyes"
You: "Really?! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ha ha.  Ha"

4. Played it down
Complimenter: "I love that top, it really suits you"
You: "Oh this? It was only £5 in Primark!"

Sound familiar?

You know you've done it.

We all have.

But today, it stops!

Today we turn a new page and begin a new chapter towards feeling better and more confident. And big results always start with very little steps. This is just one of those steps.

Now, I know I am going to make this sound really easy. And I honestly know it isn't, but neither is it that hard when you really think about it.

So the next time you receive a compliment, whether it's online or face-to-face and whether it's someone you know or a stranger, I want you to simply listen to the compliment, take a deep breath, and just say... Thank You.

Two little words. Really rather simple. But not usually the first thing that comes out of our mouths in these situations. But receiving a compliment should never be anything other than a lovely experience. It's not an awkward inconvenience, it's an actual gift. That person has seen or felt something so good about you that they feel compelled to share it. They are literally giving you a gift.

So imagine that those words are wrapped up in beautiful sparkling paper, and that the complimenter is handing you a gift. You wouldn't dream of taking a present out of someone's hand without saying Thank You now would you?

So why do it with a compliment? It makes no sense when you think about it does it?

Let this be a little challenge to you. No matter what person or what context, next time you receive a compliment, just say thank you.

And don't forget to let me know how you get on! It'll make you feel great I promise! And keep practising...

Don't forget to follow me on Snapchat for more daily motivation and tips! My username is emmab82

Until next time, stay beautiful!

Em xx

How to LOVE other people's photos of you.

So we've all pretty much nailed the selfie now, right? I don't know many women who haven't mastered the art of good lighting, raised camera and duck face pout of course!

I am really good at selfies hahaha. Here are some of my favourites...

I'm sure you also have some selfies that you are comfortable with, that make you smile and that you'd be happy to show to anyone... And that's why they are probably (like mine) used as your social media profile pictures.

So why is it that most of us feel very differently about photos that other people take of us? Is it the lack of control? Is it that they aren't bothered about our best side or most flattering angle?

Well there is actually a proper grown up scientificmabobs explanation for this. We have one very frequent but surprisingly inaccurate source of seeing ourselves, and that is the mirror. We are so used to seeing our concise mirror image, on average around 70 times per day, that seeing a completely different angles/ratio/distance image is a bit of a shell shock.

Now you might be in the minority of women who are so completely happy with their appearance and comfortable in their own skin, that anyone could take a photo of them from any angle and they wouldn't mind in the slightest. If this is you then you have my admiration and utmost respect. You are very few and far between though...

So to recap, a selfie recreates the mirror image of us that we are used to seeing on a regular basis. A photo that someone else takes of us represents how other people see us everyday. From a variety of "bad" angles that we are never even aware of. That's why your friends and family will usually be shocked if there is a photo of you that you hate - as that's how they usually see you.

So how can we get over this? Well, like any fear, the best way to tackle it is to face it! We did a little bit of research on this and discovered that there is also a scientificmabobs way to deal with it.

The theory is called "Mere-exposure" and can also be known as the familiarity principle. The idea is simple - the more often you are exposed to something, the more you will like it. So when it comes to photographs you hate, the only way to start liking them is to keep looking at them. OVer and over again, for as long as it takes. But it actually won't take that long for you to start tolerating the images before you will actually begin to like them. And what could be better than liking yourself and the way the world sees you, that little bit more? Not much I'd say.

I will let you into a little secret now. Here are some pictures of me that other people have taken, ones that I HATED at first but have now grown to like with this very effective method...

Those of you who have met me will probably wonder why I ever hated these. But I did. I can confidently say now though that I really like them and no longer see the problem myself either.

So, your mission (if you choose to accept it) is to find those photos you hate that other people have taken of you and keep looking at them over and over again. You'll more than likely go from "Ewww" to "Hmmm not too bad I suppose" to "Actually I quite like that" much quicker than you think!

Let me know if this works for you and how much better it's made you feel.

Bye for now
Em xx

I choose confidence. I choose happiness.

Wow, what an amazing week I've had!

There are various factors that have brought me to my current state of mind. It's been a tough few months (at least) with health problems and most importantly with mental health issues. No, I'm not scared or embarrassed to say that I battle with depression and anxiety. It's important at this point to mention that I just typed 'struggle' instead of 'battle' but I went back and edited it because I am not prepared to struggle any longer. It's very much a battle as some days those grey (or black) clouds will make their way over my head but I'm armed and ready for them and I WILL WIN!

Because I no longer choose self pity. I no longer choose procrastination. I no longer choose self loathing. I choose confidence. I choose happiness...

There is only one way to be happy and it's taken me 33 years to realise this. The only thing that can make you happy is yourself... Not your partner, your children, your friends, your clothes, your food. Just yourself. And once you choose happiness, there really is no looking back. The best bit is that all the aforementioned things fall into place once you choose to be happy.

I have an amazing partner, a wonderful loving son, the most precious family and incredible friends. And they all want the same thing - my happiness. So if I choose happy then guess what? They're immediately happier and closer to me.

So as part of my new love for myself (nearly wrote self love then but that's a whole different thing ha!) I am embracing the full length photos of myself and posting them on a daily basis! When I FEEL good I LOOK even better and that's why I've been getting so much love for these pics. I'm really, really proud of them. And I'm proud of myself too...

Here's a few from this week...

On Thursday (with a little help from Lucy) I wore this amazing Banned floral 50s style dress from the selection at My Vintage. We still have a few 18's, 20's and 22's left online and here is the link for more info or to buy... http://www.myvintage.co.uk/vintage-style-turquoise-blue-hibiscus-swing-dress-4633-p.asp

Friday was Good Friday, and through various conversations we decided to rename this as Feel Good Friday. The idea was to wear an outfit that for some reason you do not normally have the confidence to wear. I pulled out a t-shirt that I bought from Simply Be last year that still had the tags on! I'd never worn it but always wanted to. It's white and every so slightly see-through as well as being short. All the things I would normally avoid. But I summoned bravery and teamed with with a Simply Be pleather mini skirt and a cute fluffy 90s-esque shrug from Yours and here was the result...

I cannot tell you how many times I NEARLY wore this outfit last year. But that stupid self doubt kept creeping in. But after putting the work in and really changing my outlook, I felt absolutely amazing all day! It's no surprise that the compliments came rolling in as a good 80% of how we look comes from how we feel...

There really was not stopping me now, and Saturday saw me digging out a lovely Primark kimono jacket that I'd never worn! It was a gift for my birthday last year but I'd always avoided wearing it as I thought the colours were too pale for me and that it might show my upper arms! Those thoughts seem so silly now. I wore it and LOVED it!

This will definitely be making more appearances - I am also on the look out for some gorgeous orange sandals or flats to go with it. If you see any in a wide 8 or 9 please do link me up!

I will be bringing you weekly outfit posts from now on, I really can't wait to get stuck into my wardrobe and start WEARING everything! After all, that's what they're for!

I'm off to pick out something gorgeous to wear tomorrow!

And remember - you CAN choose happiness. So do it...

Over and out
Em xx

A Dress Can Change Your Life...

For me, a dress is much much more than just an item of clothing. The right dress can make you feel like a totally different person. The right dress can take you from feeling down or broken hearted to feeling like you can take on the world. If you find a dress that's just right, it has the ability to make you smile in a way that no human ever could.

Working with vintage dresses every day really is a dream come true for me. When I am working in the shop I get to make this feeling of pure joy happen for so many different women. Having worked with people and clothes for many years, I have developed a bit of a sixth sense for what will and will not work.

Just yesterday I had a lady in the shop who had gone up a few dress sizes over the years and wasn't feeling very body confident in general. Before we properly talked she tried on a few smock and tunic style frocks and just felt that they highlighted all the wrong places. We got chatting and she told me her story and I could see in her eyes exactly how she felt. She had a lovely size 14 figure with all the right curves but as someone who used to be much smaller, she didn't have confidence in her shape.

I suggested that she try a fitted wiggle dress to really show off her hourglass frame and I showed her a gorgeous red 40s style number. She absolutely loved it but she completely discounted it and said she was far too big to carry it off. With a bit of gentle persuasion she agreed to try the dress on and when she emerged from the fitting room I couldn't help but let out a gasp. It was like looking at a totally different person, this dress not only looked amazing on her but her eyes and smile had completely lit up with happiness! She walked around with such confidence and swagger too. The whole thing was a bit emotional for us both - it was physically obvious how this simple dress had made her feel, like a form of therapy.

She was so grateful for my help and that I had pushed her out of her comfort zone and she left the shop with a gorgeous dress and a real spring in her step. What makes this even better is that I know for sure that when she wears that dress out she will be batting the compliments off with a stick!

This just goes to show the power of the dress - don't ever underestimate it.

If you would like my help finding the perfect dress for you please contact me at emma@myvintage.co.uk or call into the shop at 2 The Circus, Darwen, Lancashire, BB3 1BT.

I look forward to hearing from you...

Em x