A Party Dress with a Difference

It's no secret how much I love Simply Be. For me, they are the brand who have really taken plus size fashion into a whole new dimension of gorgeous.

Not only do their designs absolutely excite me, but I've always found the fit and quality of their garments to be absolutely spot on.

So when I was recently approaching the My Vintage 4th birthday party, I new exactly where I was heading to shop for party dresses!

I am quite picky when it comes to dresses, as I know what suits my shape and being nearly 5ft10, I always need to be wary of length. As you know, I do tend to wear a lot of my swing and skater style dresses with tights or leggings, which is pretty much my signature look. But this time, I really wanted to find something that but different and step out of my comfort zone a little..

When I saw this deep blue maxi dress I fell in love. It was the combination of colour, crinkle fabric and neckline that I loved, as well as the awesome dropped sleeves!

At the bargain price of £45 this was an amazing buy! The cut and quality are amazing and I got so many compliments on the night!

I wore some tan dolly shoes with pointed gold toes, but this would be lovely with some gladiator sandals for holiday evenings...

Hats off to you Simply Be, you saved the day once again!

Until next time
Em xx

Jamelia - Your Argument is Flawed. Here's my Big Fat Story...

I really hope you can spend 5 minutes reading this blog post, no matter who you are, where you're from or what size you are. It's a very upfront and honest perspective that not everyone will understand, but I'm hoping I can change that...

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last week, you'll be fully aware of failed pop star Jamelia's controversial comments regarding plus size clothing, and the huge backlash she has received in the aftermath.

I actually cannot be bothered to quote her but in essence her opinion (which she has explained she is paid to give) is that "extreme" sizes below 6 and over 20 should not be available on the high street and should only be sold in specialist shops. She explained that these sizes are unhealthy and that women who fit in them should be made to feel uncomfortable when they go shopping.

I have read many blog posts since then from many members of the amazing plus-size blogging community and have agreed with them all, But in my opinion (which I don't get paid to give) there's a big point that's being missed here and one that not everyone can relate to, but I'd like to share it...

JAMELIA - THIS IS ALREADY HAPPENING AND IT DOESN'T WORK.

I was a teenager of the 90s, when the world was a very different place to what it is now. I didn't get my first mobile phone (a rather splendid Nokia 3310 with Purple Ronnie fascia) until I was 18 and apart from spending 20mins waiting for the internet to dial up before being thrown off again (cos my Mum wanted to ring my Auntie) there wasn't an online world or a social media community to be part of.

Like most teenage girls have always done, I spent many Saturdays in town shopping with my friends. But I was a lot bigger than all of them so my options for clothing were very very limited. There was literally one shop in Blackburn that I was able to buy clothes from, and that was Evans. Back then, Evans catered for Mums, most of their clothes were flowery, frumpy and a far cry from fashionable. So who could blame me for being embarrassed to take my friends in there as a 14/15/16 year old girl? I felt exactly how Jamelia wanted me to feel. I was uncomfortable, ashamed and embarrassed. There was one "specialist shop" that I could shop in and that was it. So what did I do? Well just like my friends, I had money to spend, I started working at 13 doing bits of part time work here and there and saving as much money as I could. At home things were hard. My father had passed away when I was 4 and my Mum had lost a successful business through no fault of her own. She was going through difficult times and there was very little money around. Little money meant little food but I hadn't gotten to the size I was without being a big food lover! So with a pocket full of cash and nowhere to spend it that didn't fill me with dread, I spent several years buying nothing but shoes, handbags, make up and one other thing - FOOD.

I was too young to understand what low self esteem and depression were, but that's exactly what was going on. And like any good fat girl I was absolutely brilliant at self-medicating. As I trawled through pages and pages of glossy magazines filled with amazing looks I could never achieve, suddenly the only thing that made me feel better was a litre of ice cream or a family sized cream cake. Funnily enough that resulted in me gaining even more weight! So being "fat-shamed" didn't make me get healthier as the wonderful Jamelia seems to think it would, it made me fatter.

I then discovered alcohol and was out drinking with friends at least 3 nights a week. In fairness, I danced a lot of it off but I still continued to gain weight and when you're already way over Jamelia's acceptable size 20, a few more dress sizes really makes no difference at all.

When I was 19 I met my soul mate and partner Simon and we fell madly in love, within a couple of years we were living together with a baby on the way and I had everything I'd ever wanted. That still didn't stop me hating myself every single day, covering those feelings up to the outside world with my humour, boisterous personality and gift of the gab. I had my amazing, beautiful, perfect baby boy in 2004 and had then reached my heaviest weight, fashion was far from my mind and I spent the next few years buying whatever I could find on eBay that would fit and "look OK"

I suffered from horrendous post natal depression and behind closed doors it was a very very difficult and dark period of my life. Getting bigger, feeling worthless and at some points wondering why anyone wanted anything to do with me as I was just so inadequate and quite frankly, useless.

At this point, I was also holding down a very stressful sales job and surrounded by a very negative workforce, that only served to bring me down even more. I ended up having a breakdown and becoming very very ill for 6 months. This was a massive turning point in my life as I had mental space to really think and reevaluate my life. It was then that I decided to take a risk and open my vintage boutique to compliment my online shop www.myvintage.co.uk
Boy, did this begin to change my life...

Suddenly I was being true to me, doing what I love the most and also giving options to so many women of different shapes and sizes. I stock anything from a vintage size 4 to a gorgeous size 28 and sometimes beyond. I have had women cry in the shop of pure happiness as finally they have been made to feel welcome and feel beautiful, not ostracised. I've also been able to reach out on social media, finding incredible women who write about their feelings and their fashion, things that I can really relate to. I now have so many more shops and labels that I can buy amazing fashion from and it feels great. I've found my inner peace, inner confidence and there is absolutely no stopping me now. I'm even at a point where I now hold confidence and empowerment classes. These have absolutely NOTHING to do with size, they are about women feeling good about themselves and enjoying their life at last, subsequently achieving great things. I've also been HUGELY inspired by the incredible Tess Holliday (aka Tess Munster) over the last year, and she has been a real catalyst for my hugely improved mental health and wellbeing.

And guess what Jamelia? I've actually started to loose weight too, meaning my mental AND physical health is improving. All because I'm learning to love myself and subsequently I don't want to punish myself. And no, this really isn't any of your business but it is FACT, not opinion. The fact is, shaming made me fatter and self worth makes me healthier.

So, Jamelia (and anyone who agrees with her) your opinion is completely flawed and quite frankly, bullshit.

Em
xx

I choose confidence. I choose happiness.

Wow, what an amazing week I've had!

There are various factors that have brought me to my current state of mind. It's been a tough few months (at least) with health problems and most importantly with mental health issues. No, I'm not scared or embarrassed to say that I battle with depression and anxiety. It's important at this point to mention that I just typed 'struggle' instead of 'battle' but I went back and edited it because I am not prepared to struggle any longer. It's very much a battle as some days those grey (or black) clouds will make their way over my head but I'm armed and ready for them and I WILL WIN!

Because I no longer choose self pity. I no longer choose procrastination. I no longer choose self loathing. I choose confidence. I choose happiness...

There is only one way to be happy and it's taken me 33 years to realise this. The only thing that can make you happy is yourself... Not your partner, your children, your friends, your clothes, your food. Just yourself. And once you choose happiness, there really is no looking back. The best bit is that all the aforementioned things fall into place once you choose to be happy.

I have an amazing partner, a wonderful loving son, the most precious family and incredible friends. And they all want the same thing - my happiness. So if I choose happy then guess what? They're immediately happier and closer to me.

So as part of my new love for myself (nearly wrote self love then but that's a whole different thing ha!) I am embracing the full length photos of myself and posting them on a daily basis! When I FEEL good I LOOK even better and that's why I've been getting so much love for these pics. I'm really, really proud of them. And I'm proud of myself too...

Here's a few from this week...

On Thursday (with a little help from Lucy) I wore this amazing Banned floral 50s style dress from the selection at My Vintage. We still have a few 18's, 20's and 22's left online and here is the link for more info or to buy... http://www.myvintage.co.uk/vintage-style-turquoise-blue-hibiscus-swing-dress-4633-p.asp

Friday was Good Friday, and through various conversations we decided to rename this as Feel Good Friday. The idea was to wear an outfit that for some reason you do not normally have the confidence to wear. I pulled out a t-shirt that I bought from Simply Be last year that still had the tags on! I'd never worn it but always wanted to. It's white and every so slightly see-through as well as being short. All the things I would normally avoid. But I summoned bravery and teamed with with a Simply Be pleather mini skirt and a cute fluffy 90s-esque shrug from Yours and here was the result...

I cannot tell you how many times I NEARLY wore this outfit last year. But that stupid self doubt kept creeping in. But after putting the work in and really changing my outlook, I felt absolutely amazing all day! It's no surprise that the compliments came rolling in as a good 80% of how we look comes from how we feel...

There really was not stopping me now, and Saturday saw me digging out a lovely Primark kimono jacket that I'd never worn! It was a gift for my birthday last year but I'd always avoided wearing it as I thought the colours were too pale for me and that it might show my upper arms! Those thoughts seem so silly now. I wore it and LOVED it!

This will definitely be making more appearances - I am also on the look out for some gorgeous orange sandals or flats to go with it. If you see any in a wide 8 or 9 please do link me up!

I will be bringing you weekly outfit posts from now on, I really can't wait to get stuck into my wardrobe and start WEARING everything! After all, that's what they're for!

I'm off to pick out something gorgeous to wear tomorrow!

And remember - you CAN choose happiness. So do it...

Over and out
Em xx

A very honest new direction...

So I've been staring at the UNTITLED POST on the screen for a little while now, toying with several ideas of what to blog about today. But my mind kept going off on tangents. Mainly tangents about myself to be honest. And not in a conceited way, just that recently I have been through a lot of ups and downs of the last few months and to put it simply, I kinda lost my mojo...

I'm pretty sure that most of you reading this can relate to what I'm talking about. Between hormones, work, families, finances and all the other stresses that modern life bring, it's no surprise that we have wobbles here and there. And today something just clicked and I realised that it's OK to share with you when there are wobbles and you know what? It's OK to be positive about my size too.

I'm a plus size girl, always have been and probably always will be. I've spent far too long shying away from that and sticking my head in the sand. Full length photos are almost non existent of me but that is no more! If my idol, Tess Munster, has taught me anything its that fat is no longer a bad word and you really can #effyourbeautystandards

I want to be a bit healthier, not just for physical reasons but also because I feel that better health and wellbeing will be better my mental health, which has got to be a good thing. But I am not, nor will I ever be, on a diet. Any health benefits I find along my way will also be included in the blog, as well as lots of my general anecdotes!

Now, don't get me wrong, I will still be talking about vintage, the shop, the website and of course lots of fashion, but there will be a much more personal and varied feel to my blog from here on in... And I really hope it's something you want to read :)

And to kick things off, here are some of those full length shots that I usually don't want anyone to see!

That wasn't so scary after all!

I'd love to get some feedback from you all - if you think this is a good direction for the blog or even if there are some specific topics you'd like me to talk more about then please do let me know. You can comment here or get hold of me via Facebook or Twitter and of course my email is emma@myvintage.co.uk

Thanks for reading
Em x

New Year New Lusts...

As I settle into the swing of post-Christmas life, I'm starting to feel refreshed and excited about all the new products I can lust over in January!

I am a huge fan of Christmas but once it's all over, there is a certain relief as we start to think about Spring and what 2013 will bring...

Having poked my nose here there and everywhere, here is my Lust List for January, I hope you enjoy my picks... (just lick on each image for more details)

Being the mum of an 8 year old boy can be challenging at times, especially now he is taking an interest in fashion and doesn't always agree with my style selections! One place we both love though is River Island, their boyswear range is my high street favourite for sure.

This contrast sleeve parka is great at only £40 and is available in ages 3 - 12

This studded crosses t-shirt gets the thumbs up too, and is a snip at only a tenner!

I also love how boys get to accessorise more now, and this rucksack is perfect for carrying round all the stuff you need when you're 8 - DS, Top Trumps, Skylanders, Dr Who figures, sweets from Santa and a pack of tissues from Mum!

So that's the little man sorted, what about me? Hmmm, I have been loving some of the latest offerings from Navabi...

This smart LBD is perfect for curves and has a real retro edge, I just love it!

I am also a big fan of this 2 in 1 dress with sheer over-layer, you could dress it up or down and the claret colour is divine...

I also LOVE this new season knit from Evans, in deep navy blue it's studded heart design is fab, and will be perfect with skinnies.

I am also loving these butterfly toe-cap flats from New Look, they are definitely coming home with me!

When I saw this Accessorize handbag, I nearly let out a little shriek - I adore it! And a bargain at £25 if you ask me!

And of course, my lust list would not be complete without a few bits of vintage loveliness!

This gorgeous coffee set would look perfect in any modern kitchen, and these striped cups are bound to impress your guests!

This stunning reproduction vintage Art Deco brooch has been handmade in France from the highest grade materials and using the original mouldings. It is truly beautiful and as near as you can get to the real deal...

Looks expensive right? Well it can be yours, along with a little certificate of authenticity, for less than £40! Amazing I know!

Treat yourself to a little post-Christmas gift, this vintage graphic print scarf from Richard Allen is superb...

The dotty pattern is fabulous and the neutral tones will team up with so many different outfits. A bit of vintage designerwear that doesn't break the bank...

Speaking of not breaking the bank, I stumbled across a rather glam evening dress recently from Minnies Boutique...

I can't quite believe that this is only £32.50 in the sale! If I could squeeze myself into it I would! I think it's a great dress that would see you through many seasons with it's classic vintage inspired style and cut... gorgeous!

So that's my round up complete for January, a few of my favourite things from here, there and everywhere.

If you like any of my selections or have some recommendations of your own, leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you!

Emma x